catharsis
A has continuously tried to convince me that people suck. People are fickle; people are undependable; people are moody; people are insecure; people, most importantly, are selfish. She insists that I take limited responsibility for any and all misfortunes that have occurred in the recent past. I believe her for the moment, but then the next misfortune comes along and I immediately am sunk with guilt, regret, and self-loathe. After all, don’t we bring these things upon ourselves? A husband only cheats with a twinge of remorse when in an unhappy marriage…an unhappy marriage is equally attributed to both the husband’s and the wife’s faults.
We all know that people suck, then why is it that we keep holding expectations and trust in them? Sure, we all say we don’t-but we are in the least anguished when things do not go our way. Why do people have unreasonable expectations? Silly things like breaking a friendship over having too many responsibilities to celebrate a birthday seem to take precedence over breaking a friendship for more substantial reasons. Why do people disclose vital and powerful information to others, only to result in, hmm…the President’s Commander-in-chief betraying her (24 reference!)? Why do people have expectations in me, when I myself have learned not to? Why am I less selfish than most? Why do I bend over backwards to meet unspoken expectations? Why do I still disappoint? Why are these shortcomings detrimental to the health of loved ones? If life’s challenges exist as learning lessons, why do we inherently continue to have faith in others and continue to slap ourselves when we know we should’ve known better? Why do we trust again and continue to hold faith and expectations even after painful recoveries?
In the midst of my current uncharacteristic actions and behavior, it is vital to remember that people are unreliable and not to break my own backbone that I’ve worked so hard to re-build in the past three years..how ironic that my bones are failing me now.
*caption credit— A. Aravind
View →